Stupid Advertisers

This morning I went to Danny's Family Car Wash where I paid $55 to have my oil changed and my car washed. (Yes, Rebecca, I did read your $$ saving blog, and I agree, but I still upgraded from the Basic Wash to VIP) I also agreed to "a $40 wax for $15" when the guy at my window told me about it. The birds keep pooping on my car and my boss told me that getting regular waxes helps save the paint from the acid in the bird-turd.

This blog isn't about car washes, oil changes, or the fecal matter of those in flight. It is, however, about the damn flyer left on my car while I was inside Fry's buying mini-loaf pans to make banana bread for the people with whom I work.

I have been irriated for years by businesses and people who think they have the right to solicit their services by leaving trash on my personal property. Yes, I know it's petty of me, but after a long day of work, I'm so excited to get home and just relax. However, the sweet release of coming home to a quiet apartment where no one is asking me questions or expecting me to be perfect is instantly marred when I approach my door to see a yellow piece of rolled up paper wedged into the loop of my door handle. It's infuriating (pehaps I need medication...).

So what do I do? I throw a fit. I grab the paper, look to see who left it, contemplate calling the damn place to leave some choice word's with the manager whose business apparently doesn't have enough clout to survive on reputation or have enough money to produce a TV commercial. After that thought, I crumple the paper and throw it in the rocks outside my apartment. Littering. I do the same thing in the parking lot when I come outside to find that someone has put their grimey hands on my car. Thus, littering in the parking lot.

So today as I was getting out of my sparkling white, freshly cleaned, well oiled, little white car at Fry's a dark little man with greasy hands and a towel slung over his shoulder said, "You want?" while thrusting a blue coupon for Cobblestone Car Wash in my face. I politely told him, "No thank you," and went inside to by my loaf pans. I came out to see that same blue coupon tucked into my driverside window. I looked at the coupon that advertised an oil change for $19.99 (the irony was not lost on me) and then noticed a greasy finger print on my window. Again with the infuriation. As I was driving out of the parking lot I saw the little man and started to aim the car in his direction. I refrained.

So I came home and did some research about the lawfulness of people touching my car in order to advertise their goods and services. Turns out there are all sorts of loopholes (go figure) to get them in trouble and for them to argue, but basically, there is nothing I can do unless I put "Do Not Solicit" stickers in my windows. Which, I think, can be done tactfully and I plan on looking into it. Then there will be hell to pay for any who decide to pick up my windshield wiper to put brightly colored paper underneath it.

But until then I will continue to throw trash on the ground and I encourage you all to do the same. My plan is that one day the earth will be covered with these stupid flyers and they will make a law that says, "Don't put flyers on stuff for which others have paid money."


Rebecca said...

HAHAHA! You are hilarious!! And a litterbug...2 wrongs don't make a right Fressia!!

Jaime "flyers" all the time. Or at least he used to. Maybe he won't have to now that he is part of a new, bigger company. I am so making him read your post!

And I am jealous of your clean, bright car. Mine is in desperate need of a wash...

Sidney said...

I'm glad you're back to blogging. :) I enjoy you!

Brittany said...

Better yet, instead of commiting a felony by running over "you want?" man, you should have just went and handed it back to him and said "I SAID NOOOO THANKYOUUUU" He probably would have felt stupid, and you wouldn't have cluttered the rocks.

Ben and Ash said...

How did you get into my internal monologue? I have those exact same thoughts when I get those blasted advertisements on my car.
Whats worse is not noticing one on the windshield before driving away.
Word to the wise: If that ever happens to you, don't try to whisk it away with your windshield wipers and DEFINITELY do not try to wash it away with the windshield washer fluid.

Trichelle said...

hope you don't mind, but I'm now blog stalking you. I found yours from someone that i found from someone elses that was likely found by anothers. I love reading it:)

Beck Dawg said...

Yea! I love your blog. Thanks for sending it to me :)

You are the BEST for coming over tonight. I really enjoyed seeing you. I'm going to be calling you soon and you BETTER go to church with me. I'm too scared to do it on my own, you know!


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