A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails. A police detective came to investigate and asked the turtle if he could explain what happened.
The turtle looked at the detective with a confused look on his face and replied “I don't know, it all happened so fast.”
Why does Snoop Dog need an umbrella? Fo Drizzle...
Texan: “Where are you from?”
Harvard grad: “I come from a place where we do not end our sentences with prepositions.”
Texan: “Okay – where are you from, [donkeybutt]?”
(Content edited for little readers.)
How do you get a kleenex to dance?… Put a little boogey in it.
The Anderson family just moved into their new home when a neighbor asked 5-year-old Tommy Anderson how he liked it.“It’s great,” Tommy said. “I have my very own room and my brother Alex has his own room, and Jamie has her own room too! But poor mom, she is still with dad…”
The invisible couple had a kid and he isn’t much to look at either!
Two boys are in a doctor’s office and one turns to the other and says, “What are you doing here?” The first kid says, “Well, I’m getting my tonsils out.” The other kid says, “I had that done. Don't worry, it’s not that bad. You get to lay around the house, eat ice cream and not have to talk to anyone.”Then the other kid says, “That’s good to know. What are you doing here?”The first kid replies, “I’m getting circumcised.” The other kid responds, “Oh man, I had that done… and it took me a year to learn to walk!!”
What did Delaware? She wore a brand New Jersey!
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it. ~Franklin P. Jones
A substitute teacher was trying to make use of her psychology background. She began her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, please stand up."Right away, Little Johnny stood up.The teacher said, "Why do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?" "I don’t, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"
No comments:
Post a Comment