Reasons Why I'm Not Married

I've been thinking about this a lot lately, especially since Matt and I broke up.
Sometimes I feel bad about it, sometimes I'm happy about it, and sometimes I'm just not thinking about it (surprisingly). However, with my long commute to work, and my impatience with the incessant advertising on the radio I have a lot of time to ponder my solitary lifestyle, the pros and cons as well as the reasons why.


#10. I have moved all over the freaking U.S. and never stayed put long enough to drop roots anywhere. But, I've loved it all and learned a ton and I'm grateful I've had the opportunities to move a lot. It makes me more well-rounded.

#9. I was in love with a guy who wasn't in love with me for SIX years. That's right... six years! I missed out on a lot of opportunities because of how I felt about this guy. But I also had alot of fun because of him (a very memorable roadtrip with my sister where she ended up hooking up with his little brother). I'm sure everyone who reads this blog and knows me knows the first and last name of this guy.
#8. I'm a workaholic/schoolaholic. School and work take precedence over my social life. Not necessarily because I want it that way, but because I'm good at those two things - not so good as a socialite. I love my studies and my work.

#7. I'm content to hang out with the fam. I have the most fun with my family - cousins, siblings, mom, nieces/nephews, aunt, dad and three close friends. They appreciate me and all my idiosyncrasies... or rather they tolerate them and love me despite them.

#6. I have issues. It's hard for me to believe in "true love" even though practically everyone I'm close to has found it. Or claims to. Meet the pessimist in me.#5. I haven't found someone who doesn't get worn out by me. I've heard I make people tired. And though that sounds like a bad thing - I take it as a compliment. #4. It's hard for me to fall for someone. I might be picky. But I don't think that's the case... I just always fall for guys that I wouldn't marry.
#3. I might be intimidating. Which is odd since I'm extremely shy myself in a lot of situations. (See #8) I'm loud, I'm bossy, I'm usually right unless you can convince me otherwise, I'm opinionated and passionate about almost anything I'm involved in. I care deeply about a lot of strange things that don't make any sense...
#2. My sister once said that I'm very unique (mom thinks so too). Brit said (with all the sweetness of a loving sister) that I'm not easy to deal with and it's going to take one heck of a special guy to actually be able to handle me. Once again, I take that as a compliment.

#1. ??????????????

Why I'm going to get my first "C"

We were SO excited about our boards! It was well over 100 degrees outside and we couldn't even wait until the sun went down.

Check me out - I'm about to do a triple-kick-flick-flack-switch-side-a-roo. Too bad George took the picture at the wrong time - you all would have been able to see it.

Here George is just attempting a switch-side-a-roo. He's not quite at the level that I am. He's learning quick though.



Umm... "Even the best fall down sometimes.."



We were on the road... but a truck came to close for comfort so we decided to carry our new toys... cute picture though, eh? I like it.
Now check out the video... we had too much fun - we laughed at this video for ten minutes. Make sure your sound is on.

Finding Respite in My Studying

Jabberwocky

by Lewis Carrol

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;

All mimsy were the borogoves,

And the mome raths outgrabe.

Spending some QT with Payton Kali

For more of Payton click on Kristy and Brian's page link...

Blast from my PAST

Mom - I bet you can sing this word for word, eh?


How about this one?

FREEDOM OF SPEECH!

Ok, so I'm currently enrolled in an English class called, "Race, Sex, and Identity Online." Until last night I've found it rather boring, as it had very much to do with MUD's and MOO's... which I'm still confused about but I know that it goes back to a game called Dungeons and Dragons from the 70's and is sort of like a chatroom... whatever.

Anyway, last night I got pretty fired up about something I read for the class. Apparently, in one of these MUD's, LambdaMOO to be specific, a Virtual Rape took place. Virtual Rape? What is Virtual Rape? Ok, let me tell you the story. A man signed in to this MUD calling himself Bungle. In this room there were "identites" named Starsinger and Legba, amongst others. In the chat room Bungles said that he had a voodoo doll that made others in the room do things. Keep in mind that this is all text, actions are written as text, for example, "Bungle walk across the room and sits down next to Starslinger." So back to my story; Bungle narates that he has a voodoo doll and he starts attributing actions to other identities in the room, primarily Legba and Starsinger. He begins attributing horrible, horrific, disgusting sex acts and acts of violence to their identites. Apparently Legba was traumatized by this and caused quite an uproar about the effect it had on her. Good for her I guess... Took it to court and everything, where it was thrown out - freedom of speech. This protected Bungle.

But this is why I became so irritated by this story: This didn't affect her REALLY. She let it affect her, she chose to let it affect her. She was Legba, she was anonymous, more than likely, no one in the room knew who she was in real life. If she doesn't want crap like that to happen, why doesn't she stay away from the chatrooms? And if that was too much to ask of her, why didn't she at least leave when Bungle started writing this junk?! She could have just walked away and made a sandwich and gone on with her life. Calculate your risks.... if you don't want to be exposed to that crap, stay out of the chatrooms. Just like if you don't want to increase your chances of getting raped in real life, don't walk through a dark park by yourself in a bad part of town where rapes frequently occur. Duh.

Not the end of my story. I had somewhat of a change of heart from tonight's lecture in this class.

Story #2

A student from Michigan University posted libidinous and violent descriptions of himself raping and murdering of a fellow student, complete with her name and everything. Now, these were only descriptions, there was no action of this at all. How freaked out would you be to google your own name (which I know we've all done) and see that come up? So this went to court also and it too was dismissed. Freedom of Speech.

So here are my questions:

Where do we draw the line? So many things about "freedom of speech" have been contested.

1957 US Supreme court determines that "obscenity is not within the area of constitutionally protected speech or press." Obscenity is defined as "material which deals with sex in a manner appealing to prurient interest." (I had to dictionary.com "prurient" - it means 'causing lasviciousness or lust") So in other words, if it turns ya on, it's obscene. There goes Matthew McConaughey... seriously though, that's a pretty general term.

1962 the definition of obscene was narrowed. It now had to be "so offensive on its face as to affront current contemporary standards." I added emphasis to contemporary. I work with a bunch of crude males, I dare say that absolutely nothing obscene would affront them, and the are a pretty good representation of today's society. Therefore, nothing would be ruled as obscene and we can have porn on the billboards and in the windows at the mall. Because it does not "affront current contemporary standards."

Also interesting to me is the whole debate on speaking ill of the country and it's leaders. In 1918 the Sedition Act was passed that which prohibited any form of criticism of the US, the government or the flag.

1942 US Supreme court determines that "fighting words" are not protected by Freedom of Speech but the rest of the stuff prohibited from 1918 on was protected. "Fighting words" being something that can be considered a threat to the government.

So what do we do? Although I hate all the negativity regarding America and it's polictics and politicians, we can't stop it because of freedom of speech (and I'm not arguing that we should.) We can't tell people what they can and can't post on their websites. We can't say that Victoria Secret can't put pictures of girls in thongs in their window displays. Nor do I want to. I'm not a fan of laws. I honestly wish that the US was the way it was when the founding fathers started the country. There didn't have to be a law for every little thing... but times change, and things do have to be addressed. And people do have to be protected. But where do you draw the line???

Books are a HUGE part of my life. I LOVE to read. It doesn't matter what it is - I'll read it. Some things I appreciate more than others - some things I don't appreciate at all, in fact. I can't say that I always have my nose stuck in a book because I enjoy many other things in life, TV, movies, my job, being outside, talking to family or friends... wait, just family - I don't have friends that I talk to.... Anyway, yesterday I went on my lunch break and I didn't have any errands to run, I wasn't going to Taco Bell for the first time in a month because I actually packed my lunch, and I had forgotten to bring my homework to work. So I had NOTHING to do at lunch but eat my turkey and mustard sandwhich. I sat down and chewed and became acutely aware that I had nothing for my mind to process while I chewed and it drove me crazy! I finished my sandwhich in all of five minutes and took my self back to work. I could not stand not having something to read. I resolved to remember my reading material the next day.

So I've decided to steal my friend Kristy's idea and do a Book Review label however, it's not really a review of the book, more like what I got out of it. I just started a new book yesterday, so you can look forward to that soon!

Count Your Blessings...

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3842331/

Over the past few years I've visited the site above many times. The pictures always bring a range of emotions that get me thinking about my own life and how fortunate I am to live in a country that, although it is not perfect, is better than any other I can think of or know about. Not only that, but I also live a life full of comforts that many, even in this country, don't enjoy.

So often I get bogged down by the things I don't have (a husband, kids, my own house, a college degree) and the things that I haven't experienced (traveling, marriage, being the best at whatever...) that I forget to be thankful for the things that I do have (an amazing family, tons of beautiful nieces and nephews, a college education) and have experienced (living in Chicago, having a beautiful roof over head, being pretty darn good at most things I put my mind to.)

It's not an easy thing to be thankful, at least not for me. It's not easy to focus on the positive when the world trend is to focus on the negative. We're bombarded with negative images from the media, negative comments from coworkers, gossip, fascination with the horrific, etc. I would love to be able to be conscientious of nothing but the positive around me. It would be nice if someone would tell me the secret to being able to do this.

Anyway, click on the link. Enjoy the pictures and be grateful for what you have. And remind me to be if you ever hear me complain. Which you will.

They Latest Big Event

Brittany is married! She and my new brother-in-law, Jason, now live in Long Island, New York. I'm so excited for her and can't wait to go visit. She was married in the San Diego Temple May 19, 2006.

I should be posting my opinions on Mary Wollstonecraft's "The Vindication of the Rights of Women" on my English class's discussion board right now rather than posting a random and thoughtless blog on my newly renovated BlogSpot; however, after a grueling Friday I find it therapuetic to write inconsequential sentences that only one or two people will actually read.

So this is my new blogspot. It previously contained a lot of fun pictures but due to recent events it will now only contain boring pictures that I took of myself because I have no one else who finds my blue eyes and bright smile worth the memory stick space.

I realize I am one of very few whose BlogSpot isn't titled by the plural form of my last name... that's because there is only me. It may not be allowed to have a blog spot if one is single and lacking offspring but hopefully I'll slip through the cracks... so far I've not had a problem with that. :)